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QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE - Frontman Denies He Hit DWARVES Singer With Bottle
QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE frontman Josh Homme has rejected a Rolling Stone
article alleging that Homme struck DWARVES singer Blag Dahlia over the head
with a beer bottle at Los Angeles' Dragonfly club Wednesday night.
According to the Rolling Stone report, which was posted on the magazine's
web site on Thursday (Nov. 11), Homme began pouring beer over Dahlia's head
while singing, "Whatcha gonna do?" before the DWARVES' midnight show at
the venue. After the two pushed each other, Homme allegedly struck Dahlia
over the head with a beer bottle.
After the show, Blag's wife allegedly drove him to St. Mary's Hospital in
Hollywood, where he received stitches and was released early Thursday morning,
according to Rolling Stone. Police were not called, but security promptly
removed Homme from the venue.
"He seemed very angry," Dahlia joked to Rolling Stone Thursday. "It was
almost as if somebody made him listen to one of his records."
EAGLES OF DEATH METAL frontman and Homme friend Jesse Hughes saw the incident
a bit differently, saying that Homme merely punched Dahlia after he was
pushed. As for how Dahlia bled, Hughes said, "You ever been to a DWARVES
Homme's beef with the DWARVES stems from the veteran punks' "Massacre",
off their new album "The Dwarves Must Die". The song includes the lyrics,
"This one goes out to Queens of the Trust Fund/You slept on my floor/And
now I'm sleeping through your motherfucking album." Bassist Nick Oliveri,
who was kicked out of QOTSA in February, guests on the track.
In response to the RollingStone.com article, the following message by "Dr.
Insider" was posted on the QUEENS PF THE STONE AGE web site:
"An incident at the DWARVES show Wednesday night involving Joshua Homme
and DWARVES lead singer & GG ALLIN wanna-be Paul Cafaro (a.k.a. Blag Dahlia)
has already received the DWARVES' typical, historical alterations. If you
recall, the DWARVES where almost brought up on charges for faking the death
of their badass guitar player, HE-WHO-CANNOT-BE-NOT-BE-NAMED, a few years
back. In a fairy tale told to Rolling Sone.com, an unknown 'eyewitness'
claimed, 'the two pushed each other, Homme struck Dahlia over the head with
a beer bottle. But despite the blow (oh please, the drama), Blag performed
as planned (how does he carry that much bullshit and still do it). After
the show, his wife drove him to St. Mary's Hospital in Hollywood, where
he received stitches and was released early Thursday morning.' But sadly,
Rolling Stone.com, in an 'out of character' journalistic move, neglected
to fact-check their article. That's right, folks, there is no St. Mary's
hospital in Hollywood or anywhere in all of Los Angeles for that matter.
OOOPS! They did it again *sings Britny Spears* Ever heard of 411 directory?
No? OKee DoKee.
"I spoke to Joshua about the DWARVES' unbiased article and he laughed for
the first few minutes. He did somehow find the strength to retort to the
Tsunami of brain power that is Paul Cafaro: 'I've known Blag for 13 years
or so and he's always been the sort of two-bit con artist that would screw
a friend over for two bucks. Blag's whimpering about me has been going on
ever since he begged Nick to 'produce' the last MONDO [GENERATOR] record
('A Drug Problem That Never Existed'). I've always known how self-serving
he is. The record was paid outta Peeps' pocket and Blag just wanted a credit.
But the second Ipecac showed an interest in putting out the record, Blag
started calling the label over Nick's head asking, 'How much is his advance?
How much? How much?' Nick's the fairest guy around, so I called Blag, on
Nick's request, to ask if he'd just finish the record as agreed and let
Nick deal with Ipecac. I told Blag, 'You know, Nick will kick you down some
scratch.' Which is more than Blag does for the DWARVES guys. I mean, he
published songs under his name that Nick wrote. But instead, he got really
defensive and insecure (which is typical in dwarfed genital cases), even
holding Nick's tapes hostage (which wasn't surprising to me). What a friend,
eh? He's one of those guys desperately wants to a star, like Gallagher the
comedian, and thinks he's entitled to be one because he's standing there
breathing and shit. Gross.'
"When asked about hitting Blag with a bottle, Josh responded with, 'Why
would I need a bottle to kick Blag's ass? I mean who couldn't kick Blag's
ass? Seriously. I merely tapped Blag in the eye because he pushed me. A
full swing it wasn't. You see, I was just messing with him. You know, pouring
beer on his head and dancing 'round him singing 'What chu gonna doo, Blaggy
boo.' This is the guy that hits audience members in the head with his mike
and shows them his teenie weenie. I mean HE-WHO and some girl were laughing
and so was Blag, at first. I guess he can dish, but no takey. Life must
be hard, when you're an old 'Ralph da mouth'.'
"I then asked Josh about the 'Queens of the trust fund' comments on a DWARVES
song that Blag raps on. Josh laughed some more and said, 'I like that song,
it's catchy. Blag is like VANILLA ICE, SNOW and KID 'N' PLAY all at the
same time. His dreams have finally come true, he's a rapper! And the best
part is... wait, I have a trust fund? Awesome. Why am I workin' so hard.
I'm officially retired. I have a question, which muthafuckin album of mine
is Blag sleeping through? Is it 'Deaf' (which opens wtih him as a DJ ),
'Lullabies to Paralize' (which he hasn't heard) or GOOD CHARLOTTE's last
album (which Blag wrote lyrics for with Eric Valentine), I can't tell. Ya
know what, it doesn't matter which one, cuz he's puuuuunk."
"I think it's best summed up in Blag's own stolen words, 'Play the pussy,
get fucked.' Or maybe Josh's are more realized, 'I'd rather mop the floors
at a peep show, than relax in his limp, bitter menagery of dumbassery. He
wants some press, so how's 'gettin slapped like a bitch' read as a headline.'
"Well, it seems like Blag dreams of coverage have come true. His prayers
to have someone make fun of him in his own dressing room have been answered.
And his hopes to pen some more GOOD CHARLOTTE lyrics are just beyond that
horizon... Maybe the worm has turned. Nope. Wimpy just paid for his hamburger....
"Until next time, check your facts so it looks like you know what you're
talking about, stop being the type of person everyone wants to slap and
keep rappin old whiteboy."